Wal-Mart is the most ghoul-filled superstore I have ever been in. When I am forced to go there, after my friends have taken the noose off my neck, I like to play a counting game to pass the time. Basically, I count all the hideous/moribly obese mutants, but unfortunately, I can’t count that high. No matter how quickly I race through the aisles, taking backways when possible, I still manage to catch a glance of one of these malformations. I swear I can feel myself being overtaken with some sort of curse when I accidentally meet eye to eye with one of these things (yes, eye is singular, their other eye is doing the chameleon). I was surprised with how many of those creatures can survive, with the light and all.
But wait! Wal-Mart has decided that haunting me in the store is not enough, so they have to piss me off at hom
e with their aneurism-inducing commercials. Big gay Garth Brooks discovers the gayest looking Santa I have ever seen, putting toys under the tree. Well, just watch for yourself and tell me if this commercial doesn’t make you want to punch infants.
But thats not all! They also have a commercial starring Destiny’s Child with a “song” they wrote for the holiday season. The commercial features Destiny’s Child with their family opening several thousand dollars in electronics. 
Yeah, because most people have money shooting out of their asses. Just rub it in our faces that you are filthy rich and enjoying a material holiday. That’s the way to go, you stupid, stupid bitches. What is portrayed in that commercial is material goods are what makes Christmas what it is. Well, that may be for most people, but you are mistaken; I guess you have been rich for so long that you forget not everybody can go to Wal-Mart and buy whatever the fuck they see. Go to hell.
Wal-Mart also has a few other commercials that I fortunately have not seen….yet. But I will wait as long as possible before subjecting my brain to that sort of torture. (OH wow, I knew I couldn’t finish this rant without the Garth Brooks commerial coming on.)
Wal-Mart and Destiny’s Child, I hate you. Kinda you too Garth.
