1. People who dress up their pets, carry their pets everywhere, etc.
They fucking hate it. You know they would love to feast on your jugular if they got the chance. Plus, it looks like fuck. People who dress up their pets also feel the need to take them everywhere with them. Leave your gay dog at home, and while you are there, blow your head off in the bathroom.
2. People who name their kids ridiculous names that promote peace.
Justice? Liberty? Sovereignty (just you wait)? It won't be so peaceful when the kids at school are making fun of them for having such a ridiculous name. Simply deciding on a normal name will save you money for the kid's therapy after he tries to hang himself.
3. People who wear wifebeaters in public.
Yeah, real stylish. God forbid it happens in a Wal-Mart. Get back to banging your sister.
4. Blacks who use their ancestors' many years of oppression as an excuse to do whatever they want.
If you tell them otherwise, you are racist. Stop fitting the stereotypes.
5. People who are so incredibly obese that they must use a motor cart to take the strain off their legs.
Fat people in general, actually.
6. People who insist on talking on their cell phones all the time.
I doubt you are that important. Hey, you're in a car, how boring! Find someone to call! I can't wait for you to hit an embankment doing 90.
7. People who laugh and talk loudly as fuck in theaters as if they were the only one there.
Fuck a fuck. At least I get to punch them in the throat.
8. People who pronounce silent letters.
Acrost? Really? Is that how it's spelled? OfTEN? NO. The English language sure is a mystery, get fucking used to it.
9. People who are unable to decide when to use "your" and "you're". Also with to and too.
Your retarded.
10. People who critisize one's grammar, yet spell it grammer.
Spelling goes together with grammar. Be able to use both correctly.
11. People who can't fucking handle their pets.
My neighbor has a dog that is half pit-bull and the bitch has her 7 year old take it out in the yard. There were several incidents in which their dog tried to attack mine. I am forced to scoop up my dog and kick the fuck out of the other. Get a fucking clue you cunts. I'm sure they'll find it funny when they find their dog with an icepick through its cute little skull.
12. People who act like sheep when asked their opinion on a subject they don't know about.
Your opinion is not your buddy's.
13. People who still use "leet speak".
Or people who have EVER used leet speak. God I'm gay for even saying "leet".
Wal-Mart is the most ghoul-filled superstore I have ever been in. When I am forced to go there, after my friends have taken the noose off my neck, I like to play a counting game to pass the time. Basically, I count all the hideous/moribly obese mutants, but unfortunately, I can’t count that high. No matter how quickly I race through the aisles, taking backways when possible, I still manage to catch a glance of one of these malformations. I swear I can feel myself being overtaken with some sort of curse when I accidentally meet eye to eye with one of these things (yes, eye is singular, their other eye is doing the chameleon). I was surprised with how many of those creatures can survive, with the light and all.
e with their aneurism-inducing commercials. Big gay Garth Brooks discovers the gayest looking Santa I have ever seen, putting toys under the tree. Well, just 
Yeah, because most people have money shooting out of their asses. Just rub it in our faces that you are filthy rich and enjoying a material holiday. That’s the way to go, you stupid, stupid bitches. What is portrayed in that commercial is material goods are what makes Christmas what it is. Well, that may be for most people, but you are mistaken; I guess you have been rich for so long that you forget not everybody can go to Wal-Mart and buy whatever the fuck they see. Go to hell.
I hope you get AIDS. Anybody I catch wearing one of those stylish holiday sweaters will promptly be kicked in the teeth by yours truly.